Who wrote the Book of Love? And where is my copy?!

I have often thought about that song as I've gotten older. My parents played oldies music when I was growing up and I used to love to sing along. "Chapter One says you love her, you love her with all your heart. Chapter Two you tell her you never never never never ever wanna part. Chapter Three remember the meaning of romance. Chapter Four you break up, but you give it just one more chance." Simple and straight to the point.

Love and relationships were so much easier when we were younger. If we liked someone and they liked us back, usually the relationship started with one person asking "Hey, do you wanna go out with me?" And that was that. You were dating. When it was time to break up, it was as straightforward, "Um, we need to break up." End of story.

My first lesson in my sophomore year: Love and relationships get more complicated as we get older, not easier. Despite how much we learn through successful and failed relationships. Now its never clear if I am officially (or sometimes unofficially) dating someone. Most of the time its unspoken and it is often times assumed.

The truth is...I am a romantic at heart. I am suckered every time for sappy romantic movies, books, and even songs. I believe in true love, soul mates and happily ever after. Once of my favorite movies is Cinderella. Not because she triumphs over her evil family, but because she too believes in true love and her prince does pursue her and falls in love with her. Then there is Romeo and Juliet. Ok, so the ending isn't the best, but I always get lost in the intensity and passion of their feelings. (Oh come on, I know every hopeless romantic can't resist singing along with Taylor Swift's Love Story!)

Why can't someone love me with that kind of fervor and reckless abandon?! I have had a lot of successful failures in relationships. I have opened myself up, given my heart fully and have had it broken, trampled on and cast aside. Despite it all, I still hope that one day it will be my turn. One day my Prince will come.

My new (birthday) year's resolution

July 20, 2010 12:13 am. I am officially 30 years old. It feels different than I thought it would. It feels less...old. I have never had an issue with a birthday: I look forward to them with eager anticipation and excitement. This year was no different, until about a month before the big day. At that point it became an unwelcome reality that I wasn't so easily dealing with.

Someone wise once mentioned to me that our twenties are similar to our freshman year in high school. We're the low man on the totem pole - not sure of ourselves or whow this new chapter of our life is supposed to be. We make lots of mistakes, try to act older than we are, live with reckless abandon and test all limits and boundaries. Our thirties are our sophomore year of adulthood. We have learned from said mistakes made in our twenties, and we enter this decade of our lives thinking that we have it all together now. I'm sure we will be very quickly proven wrong on this notion.

This new chapter of my life is bringing with it many changes. I am quitting smoking (again), trying to lose a few unwanted pounds, eat healthier, exercise more and try a variety of new things. This blog will be a testament to this new era. Looking back at my twenties, I don't feel I have much to show it. I don't feel I accomplished much. I feel like I wasted them. Whether it be full of sucesses or failures, joyous times or heartaches, pretty, ugly or brutally honest, I will write it all down. I will live more, laugh more, and love more. In the process of this journey, maybe I will find myself; I will discover who I am.

Help, I'm 30! This is a journey through my sophomore decade of adulthood.